The Bard!

I thought since there are so many Blippers in Scotland that it is only appropriate to commorate the 250th anniversary of the Bard

Good old Rabbie Burns - infamous Scottish poet
See Foreveryoung for all the info, however I have digressed slightly and have a little known version of one of his poems

Ahem.. to be read with a broad Scot's accent..

Tae A Fart

Oh what a sleekit horrible beastie,
Lurks in yer belly efter a feastie,
Just as ye sit doon among yer kin
There starts to stir an enormous wind .
The neeps and tatties and mushy peas
Start working like a gentle breeze
But soon the pudding wi' the sauncie face
Will hae ye blawin' a' ower' the place .
Nae matter whit the hell ye dae
a'body's gonnae hae tae pay
Even if ye try tae stifle
It's like a bullet oot a rifle .
Hawd yer bum ticht tae the chair
Tae try tae stop the leakin' air
Shift yersel fae cheek tae cheek
Pray tae God it disnae reek .
But a' the efforts go asunder
Oot it comes like clap o' thunder
Ricochets aroond the room
Michty me! A sonic boom
God almichty it fairly reeks
A' hope a' huvnae shit ma breeks
Tae the bog a' better scurry
Whit the hell, it's no ma worry
A'body roon aboot me choakin'
One or two are nearly boakin'
I'll feel better for a while
Cannae help but raise a smile
It wis him! I shout and glower
Alas too late, he's just keeled ower
Ye dirty bugger! They shout and stare
I'm no that welcome any mair
Where e're ye let yer wind gang free
That sounds jist the joab fir me
Whit a fuss at Rabbie's party
Ower the sake o' one wee farty