Me, I'm just the lawnmower mate ...

..... you can tell me by the way I walk.

Ah,those classic lyrics from those prog rock greats Genesis in 1974.

The affable, genial Simon is the office jack of all trades from boiler lighter to painter to drain cleaner and conductor of lunchtime debate. Today we went from global standardisation to Laurel and Hardy all on the space of half an hour.

NB; Note the adherence to overkill health and safety. Who cuts grass in thorn proof gauntlets. Its not as if a blade of grass is going to jump up and slash his wrists.