orange blossom

Since Anniemay discovered she was a Viking (see here) her behaviour has changed somewhat.  She looks wistfully over the garden wall whenever a canal boat comes past.  I imagine she fancies herself standing on the prow, ready to lead her men into battle.

Her speech patterns have changed too.  She’s begun cursing like an old Norse god at anything which displeases her.  LIke the paper, this morning.  

We’re having breakfast and I show her the food supplement from Saturday’s paper (she was away over the weekend and has not yet caught up with the non-Viking world).  

There’s a recipe for cheesecake which I think she might like to make, because she’s very into making cheesecakes at the moment (that’s another thing the Vikings gave us besides magnetic stones to guide their ships.  Not a lot of people know that, because the Venerable Bede, when writing his history of the Viking invasion of Lindisfarne omitted the bit about them bringing cheesecake to the party. It's one of the earliest recorded instances of Fake News.)

She reads out the list of ingredients;  “Amoretti biscuits.  That’s good ‘cos I’ve got a packet that need using up.  Ooh - apricots - I like apricots”.  

It’s the last line that sets her off; “Orange Blossom water?  ORANGE BLOSSOM WATER??  What are you on about you posh ******.  Who uses Orange Blossom Water …?”   There's more that follows, but I have no wish to embarrass her further.

I know those of you who’ve met Anniemay will find all this hard to believe.

“I’m starting to swear a lot aren’t I?”  
“Yes”  I say.  “I think your frontal lobes are beginning to go.  It happens as you get older.” 

“You do it too”. 
“I know” I say.  “My frontal lobes are probably going too.  But at least we’re aware of it.  Perhaps we should save it for things that really matter like the Jeremy Vine show and not cheesecake recipes.”

“Can we swear at the news?”  
“Yes” I say.  “It’s how we sleep at night”.

Anyway, after all that unpleasantness, I leave you with a blip of orange and blossom, taking with my phone using the Hipstamatic App.  I see myself more hipster than Viking.