Why?

I spent a fair few years of my life wanting to study Neuroscience. I wanted to know all of the complex functions of the brain. I wanted to know what created each impulse and action and how it was so. But now all I want to know is why.

Why does the brain collectively make you sad?

Why does it keep making you do the things that bring you down?

Why does it make you remember things you hid away for years? And why does it make you protect those who damaged you?

Why does it tell you not to speak up in times of hardship? Why does it make you belittle yourself into thinking you're not worth helping?

You're not worth saving.

Why does it let you protect people who were bad to yourself and could potentially do the same to others? Why does it tell you they've changed? Why does it tell you that they've done good in their life since hard times hit and that they don't deserve to be took back to the past?

Why does it tell you to ignore a feeling and a desire because it could hurt the people who hurt you? Because it'll make you live the experience again and you don't want to? Despite the fact that you cry and hurt yourself over and over again from that exact pain.

Why doesn't it tell you that your pain can be over if you just pushed yourself forward? Why doesn't it tell you that there are people trying to help? Why doesn't it tell you that it's okay to let them in?

Why does it have so many complexities and amazing functionalities yet it's so fucking shit at being okay?