Saying goodbyes are awful

Started my time in Leamington with a black and white photograph of Andy, so it seems appropriate to end with another black and white photograph

Wherever I go, there always seems to be something else drawing me back to where I came from. Although having an absolutely amazing week or so in Leamington, I've missed being with my family...and I know as soon as I go back home I will again start to miss everyone at university. Similarly with France, now that I'm not there I miss it...and I am definitely looking forward to going back...but again, as soon as I'm back there I will then miss my family, Andy and my university friends. It's all a case of balance, something that I think I'm still trying to achieve in a way...I'm still coming to terms with the fact that I can never see anyone or anyplace enough to stop the feelings that I have, so I just need to throw myself in to each occasion as it comes. Was very hard to leave Andy standing at the station, but en même temps I know that he will be coming to Caen very soon. That very soon never seems soon enough though when you've just left.

Was quite interesting noting who had come back to Leamington and who had stayed in France. An overwhelming majority, whether in a relationship or not, had come back. I guess we just can't stay away! Although living in the same country as most of my year, I have seen more of them (accidentally or otherwise) than I have done so far in my time in France. Especially during the first few months, I think the urge to home is really strong; especially since it's not just like you're moving to a different town you are moving to a whole different town, country, culture, language. I think anyone who says they never feel homesick is lying. There are always bad days, just as there are some absolutely amazing ones.

So my day today was filled with a frantic rush to get my laundered clothes dry (student house + minimal central heating = a rather difficult drying environment!) so I could pack them, and everything else. I did find time, however, to meet up with the rather elusive Gary who (until today) had not been able to find a gap in his timetable to meet up. Like Claire, I also used to live with Gary, so it was really nice to finally see him, and catch up on absolutely everything that had happened from Term Three onwards, including an entire summer and of course university and my time in France. It was really strange in a way to hear about the house and how everyone was getting on, as since Paolo and I moved out (one to Spain, one to France) the atmosphere of the house has truly changed.

Sped back to the house to see Andy for the last time for a while and had a late lunch followed by a walk in Jephson Gardens. Although at its most stunning in the Summer (Zenit-E, May 2012), it does have a certain beauty in Autumn in the late afternoon light. Will miss Leamington, and the familiarity of living there for a year...let's hope that the same thing happens with Caen. Reminds me of a scene in a film called l'Auberge Espagnole (13.42- 15.40 in this link), where the protagonist muses on the subject of knowing the place you live. I think it's the lines - "Later, much later, back in Paris each harrowing experience will become an adventure. For some idiotic reason, your most horrific experiences are the stories you most love to tell" - that really reminds me of my time in France so far!

Anyways, back to my day, ended up back at Bar Angeli for a quick coffee, as Andy and I had realised that we hadn't actually had a coffee in the nine days I had been there! One of our favourite pastimes has always been whiling away the hours talking in a coffee shop, so it's quite apt that this is where we ended up.

Writing this on a rather packed train. Luckily my connecting train from Leamington was 10 minutes early, so I was one of the first on the Liverpool so not only found a seat, but also a table. I have no idea why there are so many people on here, but thank god I have a seat...two hours on a train without one would be awful. As dad was on a work night out in Liverpool he picked me up from the station, meaning I didn't have to faff with the normal two or three changes with a case!

Final paragraph...home now. Tired as ever from long journeys, but very happy to be back. I am so thankful that I get two weeks holiday rather than a standard English one, as it has given me the time to see everyone. Never seems enough though...