Stone cold sober....

'Psst. Pssssssstttt!'

'I can assure you I certainly am not! This is my first gin of the day.'

'Says you. I saw you stagger just now.'

'I did not stagger. I'm wearing flip flops....they make me unsteady. Anyway, what do you want?'

'Can you do me a favour....take these ludicrous sunglasses off me?'

'And why can't do you it yourself?'

'Well it may have escaped your notice, but I'm holding a bloody great tray thing above my head.'

'Mmmm. Why?'

'You might well ask. Other cherubs get to spend eternity lounging around with nymphs, and playing the harp.'

'Lyre.'

'No, it's true. I'm knackered holding this thing up. Anyway can you remove my glasses please. I'm a world famous cherub and they're an affront to my dignity!'

'Nonsense. Are you sure you're not the one who's pssstt?'

'Absolutely not. I never touch the stuff. I'll tell you one thing though...'

'What?'

'I'm stoned. Totally stoned.....'