Wednesday

Little and large. Which one would you rather be on? Me... the little one, at the moment, but one day I would like to go on a cruise. 

The day started with only having 3 ish hrs sleep last night. Just couldn't sleep, I read, coloured, paced, and despaired. 

My legs still felt really jumpy, sore, feeling of pins and needles. I was really agitated all day, short of breath, and I escaped several times to cry. 

I got home, knew I couldn't stay in. I decided to go for a walk, along the coast road. I got to a gap in the wall with stairs down to the rocks and stood in it. I cried, realised I wanted to jump. I didn't. Stood and watched the water and this litttle boat came into my viewpoint. 
I walked on, crying,  and came to another gap, I did the same. I realised I really wanted to talk to someone.  I debated with myself if I should or not, then decided to text my friend. She was home and she said  I could go round. 
We chatted for a bit then I came back home. 

While the chat helped in the moment, back home, the tears are back and I am back to feeling like I was a few hours ago.