Heughscar Hill

As I sat down I was aware of the not unfamiliar feeling of mild panic rising; a feeling with a long thread back to early childhood. When Howard used to come to the house I would shut myself in the toilet with biscuits and some orange squash in the tupperware beaker with a lid (the one that I used to take to nursery) until he'd gone and it was safe to come out again. Today I recognised the symptoms and just took some calming breaths and looked around. With some fascination, as I watched and waited, I began to question if I was normal ... everyone else seemed so relaxed and looked as though this was a perfectly ordinary pastime, pleasurable even. In an ever so slightly psychotic moment people were emerging as other animals. My eyes first rested on what seemed to be a woman with a shell of some kind of shiny metallic scales arranged in layers .... I wondered if it might be an armadillo perhaps .... and then, as I looked further round there were what can only be described as very long rats tails. It was very quiet except for the sound of magazine pages being flicked through and images consulted and then a gowned figure who had been pinned down backwards and put through some kind of waterboarding had obviously submitted. She was led across the room and sat in front of a mirror ... the scissors came out and the questioning began .... 'Are you doing anything nice this weekend ... what are your plans for the holidays?'. I glanced across to the exit and wondered if I could slip out ... too late ... Kristi had spotted me and was heading straight for me. Before I had time to run I was in a chair where my feet couldn't touch the ground, trussed up in a gown and with what can be best described as a car foot mat round my throat. 'What would you like done today?' Fortunately, Kristi knows me well ... 'The usual', I said. 'Short again', she said. 'Yep, cut it off, it's driving me nuts ...', I replied. Fortunately, before Kristi was able to ask about the weekend I knew that she lived in Kirkoswald and I was able to bore her rigid about holy wells of the locale. She was very kind and said how interesting it all was and I was in and out before you could say shampoo and set.

After having done all the other chores I set off for a cycle at 6 and took advantage of the dry conditions and went on path I wouldn't normally dream of because it never dries out normally and headed up to Winder and on to Heughscar before returning by High Winder. It was lovely to be up high and off road.

(Reminder to self: as I was pushing the bike over cracked ground that is usually bog, thoughts of normal pressure hydrocephalus and thoughts/frustration of lack of/trying to improve joined up thinking.)