On A Knife Edge

Dear O'H dear and Lovely Tea Jenny,

After chatting with you O’H dear which is always a happy way to start my day, I headed to see mad beautician lady to have my toenails done* and to have some follicles extracted!

Mad beautician lady is very good but she has one flaw. She can’t talk and wax at the same time. And she chats. A lot. About random cr@p. Sometimes she will apply wax but then start chatting. It’s blooming torture. I’m in a perpetual state of impending doom. She will be banging on about how the moon landings were DEFINITELY faked or that we are all being lied to about aliens and the whole time I am bracing myself for a garden reshaping.

THREE HOURS LATER I got to leave. I was as smooth as a baby’s bum but my ears were bleeding and my nerves were shot.

C

*its summer. I am wearing flip flops most of the time.