Thursday

Woke quite early and instantly knew I felt better. I had breakfast, changed my bed, and renewed my car insurance via online and telephone. I felt so pleased with myself. And I didn't feel the need for a morning sleep! 

Mum text to say she was going along to see Lewis and Harris and did I want to come. I said yes. 

I went along later, Lewis was so excited, he was hyper. I spent time with  Harris trying to bond with him, but there's nothing there. I was holding a toy over his head in this. I feel horrible, I obviously want to love him like I do Lewis but how? 
Lewis enjoyed a daft 'half hour' jumping and rolling all over me. It got too much, I started to zone out, my body was aching, and my heart was thumping.
I left and went home. My mood dropped and I felt really agitated. I took a few diazepam and slept for an hour. 

I'm still determined to be at work on Monday, but slightly concerned that it only took 2 children to tip me over the edge!