What Would Delia Do?

Run like the blazes from this if she had any sense, I imagine. Or, if sufficiently fortified by cooking sherry, she might prefer to tackle it rather than harangue Norwich City players.

This, er, thing (possibly a member of the courgette family abducted by aliens and subjected to who knows what) was a gift from someone whom we haven't seen for a long time and I expect that this might be their revenge. In any case, I should like to see Morrisons shift this in their 'Wonky' range.

Short of using it as an emergency horse collar, I'm at a loss as to how to deal with it.

Your suggestions are welcomed.