Wha choo lookin at?

For reasons known only to dog he's lying on the lawn, in the dark, in 6C.
It'd be nice to think that he's guarding the house and the people he loves. More likely he's waiting to hear the neighbours come home, the neighbours that when they go out to a restaurant put the term 'doggie bag' to its proper use...and then have the gall to tell me that my dog is overweight...as his name tag says 'I'm not fat, I'm fluffy'.