There's a moose loose...

I didn't have time today to go anywhere interesting with The Big Camera as I'd spent so much of it trying to wheedle a PAC code out of Vodafone. I'd phoned but there was a lengthy queue so I logged in to my account hoping there was a way to get one there.  I couldn't find any options there so googled to see if there was a way other people had discovered.  Their online "chat" was recommended so I proceeded with that.  It started well but rapidly (or extremely slowly?) went downhill. See below for full script (if you're REALLY interested!).  So I went out to the shop with my little Sony (which, rather oddly, I won in a photo competition! Why the organisers of a photo competition thought the entrants might need a camera is beyond me!) and snapped today's blip.  Lying in a gutter I saw a photo of a panda.  Being a member of the RZSS [Z] this caught my attention!  So I gathered it up and found it was some pages of am arts magazine.  It looked  like something produced by some sort of arts club or community as it had (as above) a short story, poetry and other writing and artistic content. It may be called "The Arts".  I popped into a local "arts" venue to see if I could find a full copy but couldn't see one nor could I see any staff to ask.  Oh well. 
The story amused me as I have often seen mice about the enclosures at the Zoo and joked about the pandas being fat blokes in costume!

After shopping I had a good run up Arthur's Seat. I thought I'd have a gentle run so set off on my "easy" route.  Unusually, on my way up to Dunsapie Loch I overtook another runner - a veritable bean-pole compared to me - so I was a little miffed when I thought he was going to overtake me on the flat by the loch.  How dare he pass me when the going is easy!  (I do get just a little competitive, just occasionally!)  So, to show that I was STILL a better runner I struck off early towards the summit before he could pass me.  Pathetic eh?  After a couple of minutes I looked back to see the guy I'd passed still well behind me - it was another runner that had caught me up!  Now I was in full view of The Public (my usual route sneaks round by a trail less travelled so I can stop for a sneaky breather!) so I HAD to go non-stop.  I've gone non-stop before so knew I could do it but this was  a slightly steeper route.  Fortunately my masochistic streak surfaced and I pressed on and actually managed to run NON-STOP right to the top!  There's a little zig-zag path that's usually congested so I avoid by making a bee-line to the top. This is too steep/rocky to run but today the zig-zag path was free so I was able to run to the top.  
A French couple, wrapped up like arctic explorers and sipping glasses of wine (style!), shouted, "Allez! Allez! Allez!" and high-five'd me as I passed them!  That was nice.
As it turns out that was my quickest ever home-to-summit run. Amazing what a bit of imaginary competition can do! 

The V conversation:


You: Please supply me with PAC code.
Vodafone: All our agents are currently assisting other customers. The next available agent will be with you shortly. Thank you for your patience.
Vodafone: All our agents are currently assisting other customers. The next available agent will be with you shortly. Thank you for your patience.
Kim: Hello, you're with Kim, one of Vodafone's online upgrade specialists.
How can I help you with upgrade today?
You: Please supply PAC code
Kim: Hi.
Kim: I'm sorry to learn that you're considering to leave Vodafone
Kim: May I ask the reason why you wish to leave?
You: poor network connection
Kim: Okay.
Kim: Could you help me with the post code where you're not able to receive proper reception?
You: AAxx
Kim: Provide me with the complete post code.
You: tHE PROBLEM DOESN'T RELATE TO A SPECIFIC POSTCODE.pLEASE COULD YOU SUPPLY ME WITH pac CODE
Kim: Okay no problem.
Kim: Help me with your full name as appears on the Vodafone account.
You: Thanks. Didn't mean to "shout"!
Kim: No worries.
You: xxxx xxxxxxxx
Kim: Also help me with the number in question.
You: 0777xxxx
Kim: May we quickly run through some security details?
You: sure
Kim: Could you help me with 1st and 4th digit of your PIN set up on the account?
You: I don't know that - I am currently logged in to my Vodafone account at the moment if that's any help?
Kim: no worries, I'll ask you another question for verification.
Kim: Could you help me with first 2 and last 2 letters of the memorable word set up on your account?
You: AA and BB
Kim: Perfect!
Kim: I've sent you a onetime passcode on your mobile, please share that code over this chat.
You: 9xxx
Kim: Thank you for confirming.
Kim: Would you like me to check any deal for you as with the upgrade we offer 30 days network guarantee wherein you can cancel the contract in first 30 days if coverage is not proper.
You: No thanks Kim.
Kim: Okay no worries.
Kim: I'll just connect your chat to our cancellation team who'll provide you with PAC.
Kim: Stay online.
You: Ok . Thanks Kim.
Kim: You're welcome, Neil :)
Kim has left the chat
Please wait while you’re being transferred to the appropriate team.
Vodafone: All our agents are currently assisting other customers. The next available agent will be with you shortly. Thank you for your patience.
Vodafone: All our agents are currently assisting other customers. The next available agent will be with you shortly. Thank you for your patience.
Vodafone: All our agents are currently assisting other customers. The next available agent will be with you shortly. Thank you for your patience.
Vodafone: All our agents are currently assisting other customers. The next available agent will be with you shortly. Thank you for your patience.
Vodafone: All our agents are currently assisting other customers. The next available agent will be with you shortly. Thank you for your patience.
Vodafone: All our agents are currently assisting other customers. The next available agent will be with you shortly. Thank you for your patience.
You are now chatting with VOD-KWhinfrey?
VOD-KWhinfrey?: Hi, you're speaking with Kez one of Vodafone’s Retention Specialists, I can see that this chat has been transferred from another department, please allow me a few moments to bring myself up to speed
You: I just need a PAC code.
VOD-KWhinfrey?: Thank you for your patience Neil, as the chat has been transferred for added security can you please confirm your data of birth and postcode?
You: xx/xx/xx  EHx xxx
VOD-KWhinfrey?: Perfect thank you
We are sorry, but the agent was disconnected, please wait for agent reconnect
We're sorry for the delay, an agent should be with you shortly
You are now chatting with Jess
Jess: Hello, you’re through to Jess, one of Vodafone’s Online Upgrades & Retentions Specialists!
What may I help you with today?
You: Hi. Please see previous conversation. I need a PAC code.
Jess: Hello Neil, So i've had a look at the previous conversation and I understand you want to cancel as you receive poor signal, is that right?
You: Yes
Jess: No problem, just for security, 
Can you please confirm your full address including post code and your date of birth?
You: 26 Disgruntled St, EHx xxx  xx/xx/xx
Jess: Great that matches our records, thank you!
You: OK
Jess: When did you start having issues with the signal Neil?
You: Would you please supply PAC code?
Jess: Can I make a suggestion? One thing a lot of customers try before they actually cancel the contract is to get a couple of different PAYG sim cards on the other networks and actually see for themselves what the service is like. That way, if you have similar issues with them, you still have your Vodafone account open, and the option to upgrade and still use the loyalty discounts you have accrued.
You: Thanks for the suggestion but I've already researched this.
We are sorry, but the agent was disconnected, please wait for agent reconnect
We're sorry for the delay, an agent should be with you shortly
You are now chatting with VOD-KWhinfrey?
VOD-KWhinfrey?: Hi, you're speaking with Kez one of Vodafone’s Retention Specialists, I can see that this chat has been transferred from another department, please allow me a few moments to bring myself up to speed
VOD-KWhinfrey?: Sorry about this Neil the chat connection keeps losing with the previous advisers. 
Is there anything at all that we can do to keep you with us?
You: Hi. Sorry, but I need to move to another provider for coverage where Vodafone is very patchy.
VOD-KWhinfrey?: I understand Neil, whilst the PAC generates I'll just explain the PAC and cancellation process
You: Thanks Kim.
VOD-KWhinfrey?: 
You have 30 days to use the code before it expires
When you provide the code to the new network the Vodafone services will stop and your number will port out.
Your final bill will cover services until the contract end date
Please note you will need to use the code to initiate the disconnection 
A PAC Code will not work with certain third-party deals.
You: Thanks for that.
VOD-KWhinfrey?: Your PAC is FUKU666
You: Thanks Kim. Have a good day. :-)