Grace

"I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting with their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free"

Only a fool looks backwards for too long, we're born with forward facing eyes for a reason.
But.
I've wondered à lot of late just how it took me so long to start down the path to mindfulness. Challenge, adrenaline and fear have often been all consuming, a kind of full I thought we had to be. It never crossed my mind that empty could be so rewarding too.

Today's yoga lesson was a new variation, I wondered how the knee would hold up being knelt on, but it was fine. My hips, hamstrings and abductors may tell a different tale tomorrow.
As ever we finished with a very gently guided few minutes of meditation, perhaps my favourite part of the session. I found myself lost and again found in an inner rhythm, a peace that's hard to explain. The closest sensation I can recall would be the feel of the sun on my back, all my focus in burning fingertips, listening to the internal absence that's all consuming in the very moments after completing a truly hard climb. Bliss.
Later out on the water for the first time this year I came close to that sense again. Paddle at rest as the waves gently push me out, the Northerly breeze and wind whipped spray an unnoticeable cold, the golden rays a too distant warmth. Part of me now truly knows I'm safe here and I can, in all senses, drift a whiles.

Though I still crave the ache in my shoulders when it's finally time to paddle back to shore.