"It's forgotten"

Bit of a cheat blip as this pic was actually from yesterday but haven't had chance to take one today.

She did it again!!! Kind of. Audrey slept from 6.30pm to 8am this time with a brief wake up at 3am for a cry (and as I watched on the baby monitor in amazement - and a fumble in the dark until she found her dummy before popping it in herself!) I still woke many many times to see if she was OK but we are definitely feeling optimistic that she's showing all the signs of settling with her sleep finally. Why would I write that??? Aaaaarrrghhhhh.

Today was a nervy day for me. We headed up to Lancaster and it was the first time I had seen my mother-in-law since out argument and her stroke. She is home now and well on her way to making a full recovery.

I just wanted to see her and try and keep away from the subject of how it happened. It just doesn't seem relevant any more and after all - it is her recovery that is most important. But the minute our eyes locked I saw it was still there. She seemed to still be carrying it and my heart sank. Things were strained and a little awkward. I tried my best to be upbeat but it was difficult. I hugged her at one point and told her how relieved I was that she was feeling better and she seemed to soften, whispering in my ear, "It's forgotten". Sadly if she felt the need to say that, I'm not sure it is. I hope it fades in time. And maybe I'm being over sensitive and she said that to be nice. It was hard to tell.

We headed home and I have to confess to feeling gloomy and downcast ever since. All the memories of the past few weeks are flooding back.

Got a busy week ahead so hope that will take my mind off it.