I do miss her

Warning, bad joke alert!

I got a new cooker for my wife today.
I do miss her!

Or
I got a new cooker today
My wife wants to know what's wrong with her cooking!

I did warn you.

Fair play to the men who delivered it and fitted it. They called us to give us half an hour's notice, disconnected and removed the old cooker then fitted and thoroughly tested the new cooker before they left.

So it was either the new cooker or the instruction book to blip. The instruction book is much more entertaining.

Please allow me to share some of the highlights:

During use certain parts will become very hot. Do not touch hot parts
I was rather expecting certain parts to get hot. Food springs to mind!

Always stand back from the door when opening the oven
Errr, how do I get the food out??????????

Keep children away from the oven during use
OK so this one is actually sensible. But the first time I read it I was sure it said keep children OUT of the oven......

It is necessary to preheat the oven before introducing the foods to me cooked
I've never done that. I've preheated the oven many times but I've never introduced the food.
"Good evening food, allow me to introduce Ken Wood. Ken is the oven who is going to heat you this evening. Have a warm evening"

Have a great week