Specimen Cygneture.....

'Missus! Oi, missus.....you there with the creaky knees!'

'Pardon? How do you know my knees creak?'

'I heard them when you knelt down to take my photo. They sounded like rifles going off. For one awful moment I thought someone was taking a pot shot at me!'

'With your scary mother around? You must be kidding. Swans can break a person's arm you know.'

'Phooey. Have you ever met anyone who's had their arm broken by a mummy swan? Thought not. I really shouldn't tell you this, but it's actually the Queen.'

'There's a swan queen?'

'Queen Elizabeth, you idiot. We belong to her, don't we! We swans are part of her posse! Touch us, and you're immediately broken by the ARM.'

'But you just said....'

'Not your arm.....the ARM!'

'I don't understand. What's the ARM?'

'Avian Retaliation Mob. The elite bird unit ; a crack team of international criminals, run by HRH, whose nest is most definitely feathered by them!'

'Good grief! And are you part of ARM?'

'I'm in the junior section for now....we divert attention by looking incredibly pretty.'

'So what's your group called?'

'The Cygnet Ring.....'