Two Sides

I find it ever so stressful trying to work out how I am.

I haven’t washed for four days but perhaps that’s not indicative of potential breakdown.

I’ve self-harmed a-plenty. Is that just to make myself think there is something wrong though?

I slept for three hours this afternoon. Fairly standard.

I felt I might cry randomly. But not as much as previously.

I’m struggling to concentrate through a whole program but maybe it’s just a heavy one...

I don’t feel so certain I’m in breakdown mode now, but still something perhaps isn’t quite right. I largely feel guilt and anxiety about how I am. I didn’t feel hated after church for once but that makes me feel uneasy.

Little bit complex, me.