First responsibility...

Her two sons, daughter, and two grown grandchildren will join Margie for Thanksgiving on Thursday, so she’s all a-flutter with preparations. “Lucy and I left the grocery store with so much stuff, I’m surprised they didn’t close the store after us.” Turkey, stuffing, cauliflower, green beans, brussels sprouts, cranberry relish, on and on. Cheeses. One is vegan and several are strictly organic. Some can’t have gluten. Some love cheese and some don’t eat dairy. A daughter-in-law is bringing pies, both gluten and gluten-free. They’re all arriving Wednesday, leaving Saturday.

Her family didn’t celebrate Thanksgiving as she was growing up. “Very old country,” she laughed. “Thanksgiving is not a European holiday. Besides, we were poor. Never once had a turkey.” There’s also a shadow hanging over this holiday for Margie. Her father died just before Thanksgiving. Then her mother, years later but also just before Thanksgiving. And now her ex-husband, just a few weeks ago. “But it’s not the loss that bothers me,” she confided. “It’s the guilt. I should’ve visited more often, should’ve sent more cards, gifts, should have been more attentive, more forgiving.

“What I know and don’t always remember,” she mused, “is that your first responsibility is to your own soul. If there are toxic energies, you’re allowed to avoid them. You have a right to do what nourishes you and avoid what drains you. I feel that with one half of my mind. And then the other half argues, ‘Get over it already.’ I'm always wrestling with myself.”