Using my loaf

Its very windy and wet, not the sort of day to be outside really.  But I've been inside most of the day researching.

As Dad's healthcare attorneys Cathy and I are busy trying to sort out the logistics for Dad's future care. At 88 with Parkinson's disease, Dad's needs are getting to the stage when his younger wife is struggling to provide the care that he needs, although she has to date been reluctant to take up our suggestions that we get carers and cleaners to come in and help.  We do have some sympathy -  no one likes strangers in their home.

But as recent events have demonstrated, things need to change. We have been busy doing further research today so that we can try and explain the options to them and help Dad think about what he wants to happen.

There are the obvious two options: to have his care provided at home or to have it provided in a residential home.   The choice is not quite as binary as that, he could for example stay at home for a while long with day care being provided and a stair lift.  The knee jerk reaction may well be to stay at home, and that might be the right solution.  They just need to appreciate that staying at home will bring with it some changes to their living arrangements.  Some gradual some more immediate.

If he wants to stay in his home long term with 24/7 care at home (when it is required) then we will need to work out what changes should be made to his house to enable him to remain in it.  We would certainly need to create a bedroom downstairs with a wet room.  But in addition, as Dad will require a wheelchair in due course we also need to consider what changes will be required to achieve wheelchair accessibility.  The works are significant, but they don't all have to be done straight away.  We do however need a plan and to understand how long it will take to implement that plan, so that things can be ready when they are needed.  

The residential home side of things is no less complicated. Dad's illness means that he would benefit from a home that combines both residential care and nursing care, for when he needs it.  Any home needs to be a short car journey from where he lives, so that his wife is able to visit him, as she is not a confident driver.  It also goes without saying that the home needs to feel friendly, and to provide a comfortable, caring and safe environment for him.

In some ways the research is the easy bit.  The hard part is going to be explaining this to them in such a way that Dad is able to take the salient points on board and can then make an informed choice.  

Apologies that this is all a little depressing, but setting all this down in this journal helps with the thought process.