feeling loved

yesterday i had a bad attitude.

id been home 12 hours and acted like a brat, thinking i would be bored out of my mind and that my few friends would be too busy for me. i realised that life moved forward without me and that people werent just going to drop everything to make me feel comfortable. but that is not to say they dont love me, and/or are glad to have me around.

here are a few things that are exciting about chicago/america: 1. the SUN (i sat in the sun all day today, despite the cold. it felt brilliant. i was worried i would get sunburned, but rest assured i did not). 2. FREE water at restaurants (couldnt get over this luxury at dinner). 3. not being worried about feeling like a tourist with my camera. 4. my friends i saw today, including rebecca, laura, rachel, and vince.

here are a few things i missed today: 1. cafes that werent starbucks and/or bad. 2. the u/s bahn transit system. 3. german beer 4. most importantly, being called "coco." i was hanging out with my friend vince tonight, who i call "finch" and i desperately wanted someone to address me as "coco." alas.

in summary, today was good. i felt like i was getting settled. i dont know why i was surprised to feel out of place my first day back. but i feel im getting things in order. im feeling contended. im excited about this time, but im also excited its not permanent.