to prove i could

despite attempts to avoid jet lag, eg staying up late last night, i still woke up at 4.30 this morning and by 18.00 was exhausted. when i eventually got up, around 5.30, i went downstairs to make the usual breakfast. one egg and a piece of wheat toast with jam. it felt so weird. it wasnt right. i wanted the flat on krausnickstrasse. sad. and, AND, i miss, oh how i already miss german bread. particularly: sonnenblumebrot.

for the most part, my culture shock has been relatively contained. this is largely due to the fact that ive hardly left my house. the thing that is honestly so hard to get used to is my cell phone. i cannot believe how much communicating i have done via mobile. every second im on the phone im stressed about how much it is costing me, when in reality, its not costing me anything. AND text messaging. there is too much of it going on. im feeling overwhelmed by the extended conversations maintained via text message. my phone has had more activity in one day than my german phone did in 4 months. steph would be envious of how easy it is to get a hold of me. however. this is not something i like. i prefer it the german way. so hopefully ill keep my phone use to a minimum.

so, i went on a long walk today, just to get out of the house. i bundled up and didnt feel all that cold, as i now know how to dress appropriately for cold weather. i took my dog with me for kicks. 10 minutes in i decided i wanted to walk to the grocery store, just to prove that i could. i hate how bad of an attitude i have about walking places in america. i would walk much further distances in europe just because i knew i had to and it was standard. for some reason, one forgets to do this in america. so i wanted to walk to the grocery store. about halfway there i realised i couldnt take my dog in. i felt this was a great inconvenience, which is funny because i always hated that dogs were allowed everywhere in europe. so i tied him up outside and walked inside. i didnt even have anything to buy. i really just wanted to prove a point to myself. i bought chocolate soy milk in honor of steph. so, the transaction was my first encounter in america with the real world. i was honestly shocked when he told me the cost in english. and then he asked me if i wanted a bag. weird. it felt weird.

i still havent driven yet. perhaps this evening.