Discomfort break

When I went to the gents towards the end of the afternoon, it was as much a break from the kicking I'd been taking on the phone a a genuine need. As I was looking at the patterns of the window pane, reluctant to head back to my desk, the door opened with a bang.

"Is this where all the big knobs hang out, then?" boomed an all-too-familiar voice, already laughing at his own banter. Great. Steve and his rapier-like wit.

"Steve."

"What's the matter, mate?" asked Steve, talking over his shoulder as he unzipped at the urinal. "Look like you're totally pissed off."

"Me? No, not at all. In fact, I'm delighted you can still see me. With the afternoon I've had, I was starting to wonder whether I still existed."

"Eh? How'd you mean?"

"Well, I've spent the last few hours trying to talk to the dead, the disappeared, ex-husbands, ex-wives, and students ripping the piss out of each other. I think at one point, I was trying to sell a pension to a labrador, but I can't really be certain."

"Ah. Leads not the best, then?"

"To be honest Steve, if I'd picked names out the phone book at random, I'd have done better. That list was like a series of very bad jokes."

"I see. Thought it might be the case. Not my idea, mate. Sarah's. See, you didn't take the hint when she asked if you were ready to come back."

Steve walked over to the sink and started washing his hands.

"She's keeping a close eye on you Al; she's not convinced you're ready to be back - you wouldn't believe how much persuading she took to let you back on the phones. I told you my arse is on the line here, and I wasn't exaggerating.

"If I were you, I'd snap out of it and get back in there. And I'd make sure I was as charming as I bloody well could be, too - even to the labrador. Sarah will be taking a very close interest on the calls you make today. And tomorrow, and - well, let's just say that if I was you, I'd keep my chin up and keep my nose clean. Understood?"

I nodded.

"Oh, and one more thing."

I waited.

"If you stop whingeing, and get back on with the work you've been assigned without any further moaning, I'll buy you a beer after work."



Story begins here.