The birth of Maple Violet

Maple Violet weighed in at a whopping 6lb, 7oz at 35+5 weeks gestation. This is the first picture taken of her where I am not actually in labour..... I thought I'd spare you those ones! This entry has taken me six months to complete. It has taken a bit of getting my head around, but finally it is here. If you don't like reading gory birth details then stop here!

Our beautiful girl was born at 5:10pm on Sunday the 22nd of July in City Hospital Dubai. She was born on my Nanna's birthday, who was like a second mother to me.

I don't know where to start but we arrived in Dubai just 2 days before, on Friday evening. The month or so before that is another whole story in itself, which I won't go into now. The most important thing was that we all safely arrived in Dubai before I was 36 weeks pregnant, which is Emirates Airlines' limit with a doctor's certificate to when you can still fly if pregnant. There were three worst-case scenarios in terms of timing of the birth (In order of unfavourablity):

1. Giving birth on the plane
2. Giving birth the day before we were due to fly out (This option would have left us potentially with no house, car and job or maybe me and the baby in the UK and Stu flying with the twins to Dubai.
3. Giving birth the day after we arrived in Dubai.

Option 3 was chosen for us, except we were given two days to spare.

We had a lovely first day in Dubai. Stu's brother had met us at the airport and we took the children to a fabulous indoor play area (The temperature outside being 45 degrees). We then went to our first doctor's appointment which Stu thought was 'aggressive'. I just wanted to make sure we knew where to go and that we were booked in properly at the hospital in case our baby came early like the twins. The doctor said everything looked good and said she would see us again for a growth scan in two weeks' time when I would be 37+5 days pregnant. We felt very happy with our choice of doctor and hospital and were pleased to have done the research.

That night we decided to take advantage of the rare babysitting opportunity and went for a walk in the 40+ degree heat to the beach and shops along the Jumeriah Beach Walk. It was only 10 minutes away and for the first time I needed to stop a couple of times on the way to catch my breath as I was getting "The stitch". It was only in one side, so couldn't possibly be contractions.... Can Braxton Hicks happen in one side? Stu thought it was funny that he had to slow down for me as usually it is the other way around! After that we all went to Dubai Mall and had dinner in the food court. I managed a smoothie, felt so thirsty and too full of baby for anything else.

I slept soundly that night, probably one of my best sleeps in a long time considering all the stress of the move. The next day was Sunday, the beginnning of the Dubai working week and Stu's first day working for IBM in Dubai! Did I mention we landed on the first day of Ramadan? A Muslim holy month where Muslims refrain from consuming food, drinking liquids (and sexual relations). It also means shorter working hours which was quite appealing to us with all that had just happened and a baby due in 4 weeks' time. Stu didn't start until 10am and typically the working day is only 5 hours during Ramadan. At about 10am I started having a few pains. Oscar and Bailee were climbing all over me wanting 'cuddle mummy'.... I really do believe very young children have a sixth sense when it comes to things like this. i decided to distract myself from the cramps/braxton hicks/anything but contractions and Skype my parents to show them what our new apartment was like and the gorgeous view. In the end I said I had to go as the twins were wanting me and honestly I was finding dealing with that and the cramps a little bit challenging, let alone keeping a straight face over Skype.

It was probably at this stage I thought I better face reality and that these could be actual contractions. My job this week was going to be to finalise childcare for Oscar and Bailee when I went into labour so that Stu could support me and be there for the birth as he did so well with Oscar and Bailee's. Leading up to our move I had contacted a couple of agencies, joined a Dubai "Fairy Godmother" and "Twins, Triplets and More" facebook group and my sister had messaged a friend's number who she used to go to school with and was still good friends with, for us to catch up in Dubai. All up I jotted down 3 phone numbers and gave up as I was struggling searching through emails and dealing with the twins and the cramps anymore.

At around that stage I received a text from Stu saying "Don't go into labour this week or we will be @ucked". My heart sank and I replied "I hope this is not it but but I am having regular pains.... so scared". I got a text saying he will be home early today.

I plonked myself on the couch, breathing deep through my body using the relaxation breathing I had been taught in hypnobirthing. To be completely honest, I still didn't realise this was it. I was still telling myself these were braxton hicks. I decided to time them and they were about 1 minute apart. Oscar at that point decided to empty the ornamental palm tree, stones and soil out of its very large pot. I decided I needed to sit down so not to clean it up but to leave it for the people who were due to service our apartment.

Stu walked in the door just as the tears had started to roll. It was not about the pain but about all the potential complications that may go with this and also struggling with the twins wanting their mummy cuddles.

I just sat on the couch and took deep breaths to try and alleviate the cramps I was getting. Poor Oscar and Bailee were running riot and I told them that mummy just has to sit down now and the tears started rolling. At this point Stu arrived home from work, it was about 1pm. I told him it was hurting bad and he said I should ring the hospital. I said let's just wait a bit and see if they are braxton hicks and go away. Stu asked how often they were and I timed them at one every 1-2 minutes. Stu instructed me that this wasn't in fitting with my description of irregular braxton hicks and I decided to ring the hospital who said to come into the ER department to get checked out.

I then remembered to get Stu to copy down my 'potential childcare option' numbers and I ensured him I would let him know what was happening.

So there I was in a taxi by myself off to City Hospital, some 30 minutes away. I must admit the thought did cross my mind more than once that I may give birth in the taxi. We arrived at the hospital and the taxi driver could see I was a little uncomfortable so he queued up to drop me off directly outside the entrance. I just wanted to scream for him to let me out to walk!

At the ER department I was asked a few questions and sent rather speedily upstairs to be assessed by a midwife. I was taken to a (rather fancy) room and examined. When I heard the words "She is 3-4cms, waters bulging" I burst into tears.... I was so scared. We really thought we would avoid the whole premature baby scenario this time. Leaving your babies behind at the hospital each night as well as all the higher risks of health problems in premature babies is not something I would wish on anyone. On top of that, I hate that the next dilemna has to even feature as an issue but we were not 100% sure our insurance would cover me and baby for our care in hospital.

In reference to the insurance. We had taken everything into consideration before making the decision to relocate and decided that if we had to cover the 2000 or so pounds it would cost for me to give birth then it would still be worth it. I am not sure if it is ignorance or denial but we thought we would be safe at almost 36 weeks from the baby needing any time in the NICU. Apparently the insurance cover by Stu's work would begin on the first day he started work, but we couldn't trust that there was no stand-down period until the money (All 15 000 pounds of it) was in our bank.

The phone rang and Stu asked me what was happening. When I didn't reply he said, "Are you having the baby?" and I said "Yes". He said, "Don't worry the most important thing is that you and baby are ok. We will deal with all the rest." He said he would ring the list of people and try to find childcare and then come to the hospital. We decided that if it was too hard to find childcare for Oscar and Bailee, I would do it alone.

Midwives walked in and out; it is a bit of a blur but I remember them asking when my husband would get there to make a deposit and give our credit card details. They spoke with my doctor and came back to tell me that she suggested they would break my waters to speed things up. I remember telling them that under no uncertain terms would this happen as things didn't need speeding up and I wanted Stu to make the birth. They then told me they would arrange the epidural once my husband had arrived and again I said I wanted to go as natural as possible and did not want an epidural. They went back and spoke to the doctor and reported back that "It was ok for me to not have an epidural" and that I was a brave woman lol.

They would not re-examine or put a drip in or do anything else until they had our credit card details. The contractions were back to back by then and increasingly painful. It felt like it was happening a lot quicker this time than with my twin labour (Which was only 8 hours anyway).

I texted my mum and three friends in the UK to tell them what was happening. It was really hard as I had a new phone that I didn't know how to work and ran out of credit.... I had to top up via credit card mid-contraction! Amazingly, the first person on my list was able to look after Oscar and Bailee. I hadn't seen my sister's friend Julia since we were at school about 14 years ago! She was able to leave work and knew exactly where our apartment was as she had a friend staying there too! Stu said she seemed very confident and he felt O and B were being left in great hands! How amazing was that!?

I heard the click of the door and Stu came in, much to my relief. He took one look at me and said "It won't be long now!" He could remember me at this stage with my twin labour and could tell things were progressing even quicker. I got Stu to ask for some gas and air as i felt I needed something. I remember him asking me if I was wasted and me giggling that "The Emirates entinox is a stronger brew"

A midwife came in again, asked if I would like to be reassessed. She then concluded I was fully dilated, ready to push and the doctor needed to be summoned!

I think there were two midwives in the room at that time. I was instructed to "hold on". I told them I couldn't and the uncontrolable urge to push and animal noises began! I asked if the doctor was here yet and from the silence gathered not.... Stu continued to help me manage the pain with my relaxation breathing.... I told him to not worry about the relaxation breathing anymore as I was onto the birth breathing now and the doctor came in just in time!

It is hilarious to me that at this point the doctor put some disposable blue trousers on me (For modesty's sake). I was rolling around and squirming, no modesty involved at all!

I didn't get it with the twins but remember on the show One Born Every Minute one midwife describing the look in a woman's face the moment before she pushes her baby out. I remember thinking I have that look now. The one point in my labour where I felt like I was going to die! It was much easier to birth this baby than the twins as I could feel her to push her out and she came out on the second push!

Feeling Maple placed on my chest was an incredible experience that I did not get with my twins and will never forget. She felt all slimy, warm and smooth against my chest. It was so surreal and something I had been waiting for for a long time. She was a purpley colour and made a lot of grunting noises breathing. I told her "Hello, I am your mummy" and it was bliss to cuddle her for those few moments.

One of the things that was quite important to me was that the umbilical chord was left on as long as possible in order to get as much cord blood into my baby as possible. Because baby was unexpectedly premature and we had only met our doctor two days before, we had no birth plan and this topic had not been discussed. Immediately after Maple was born I pleaded with the obstetrician, 'Please don't cut the cord, please don't cut the cord....' When she was placed on me I noticed that it had been cut and Stu told me, it had to be cut. Later the obstitrician explained that my placenta had come away from my uterus and that the cord needed to be cut as it was a potentially very dangerous situation and there would have been a lot of blood lost otherwise. Looking back, I am not convinced that this was the right thing. I think if Maple was left attached she may not have struggled with her breathing so much. No point dwelling on the past but this will probably annoy me for quite some time.

I remember Maple being weighed and her hand and foot prints being taken for identity purposes. Next Stu had his first ever cuddle. I had to peek around the side to see this and like meeting the twins for the first time was, it was a very special moment for us both. I will never forget the look in his eyes for these moments. The next bit was a bit blurry, but the Neonatologist came in to assess Maple and we were told because of her irregular breathing, she needed to be monitored in the NICU for 24 hours. After that they would assess if she needed admitting. Our hearts absolutely sank. Oscar and Bailee were in SCBU for almost a month, it was heartbreaking seeing them there attached to machines and leaving them there each day to go home. We are strong people though, deep down I knew she would be fine we just had to get through the next few days. Our strong little Maple Violet spent 8 nights in the high dependency/special care unit and after that was ready to come home! Overall I think the actual birth was fantastic, I'd do it again tomorrow. Apart from prematurity, my babies seem to behave and let it happen in a relatively straightforward manner. I am now a lucky and proud mother of three gorgeous children.