From bad to worse

(written on 24 Jan)
Hit an all time low today. Possibly the worst 24 hours of my life.
Couldn't do anything. Speaking became virtually impossible. The pain in my head, throat, and chest never ceased - in fact it just gets worse. I couldn't breathe properly - particularly when lying down, and piled pillows and cushions high on the bed so I could try to rest. Sinuses are blocked and I can't get enough air into my chest.
I drifted in and out of sleep all day but quality sleep was impossible.

Couldn't eat, couldn't drink. Couldn't see a point in living.

Felt about as low, desperate and frantic as I can ever remember feeling. The pain just screams at me from my throat and chest,and I feel as if my tongue is swollen and my tonsils are stuck together. I'm coughing up all sorts of revolting gunk including blood. Painkillers just don't seem to be doing anything.

I worked myself into a state of panic and desperation and decided to spend the night sitting on the sofa in front of the TV just to have a distraction from the misery.

I told Richard that if this goes on any longer I really don't want to live anymore.