May 7th 1940

Tuesday 7th May

Today Daddy went abroad on sealed orders after having been interviewed by the War Office last Friday. Although he said he would probably have to go, and we had sometimes accepted the idea and sometimes not, it was a horrible shock.

I feel as if I should rather like to be sick, even though there is no immediate prospect of his going into danger. His just walking out as he did after he had said goodbye, without looking back, had a curiously unearthly air about it, as though one was up in the air looking down at it from a long way off, and as though one had no feelings.

The responsibility, when one dares to think of it, is very heavy, particularly in these evil times.