Baaaaaaaaaaaaaahck in time......

'Yo, ewe!  Have you missed me?'

'Definitely not! We've been isolating for three delightfully peaceful months without you and that ghastly box thing you always carry. I assumed you'd been deported, yet here you are again, shrieking 'say cheese' at everyone, and wearing a very unflattering mask. You look like a deranged Dick Turnip.'

'Dick Turnip? Dick Turnip?? Who on earth is Dick Turnip?'

'Oh for goodness sake, you must know about him. He's one of our ovine folk heroes - the infamous 18th century vegetable rustler! We even named our favourite snack after him. Don't you lot eat turnip?'

'Occasionally. I quite like it with haggis. Neeps!!'

'Neeps?  Only if you accidentally sit on the pointy bit. But haggis? What's that?'

'It's Scotland's national dish and it's delicious; it's made from oats, spices, minced la......minced mut...... and, erm, something else that I can't quite recall right now.   Anyway, what else did Dick, umm, Turnip do?'

'Well, he used to lurk at the entrance to farms, waiting for upper class sheep like the Herdwicks and the Soays to pass by. Then he'd leap out at them, pointing a sharpened carrot, and demand all their wool!'

'Good grief, how terrifying. You mean he....'

'Yes......he fleeced them!!!!'