I am Loved

Was reading in my book this morning (still the one about dementia...I’m a very slow reader!) about the sad truth we see, that our society often chooses to believe in capacities-based models of personhood. And therefore, capacities-based practices of love:

“The ease with which people with dementia can be unfriended raises a dark question:
What is it that we actually love in those we claim to love?”

Today I went back to Christian Guidelines - an organisation that offers Christian counselling, and that I’m a big fan of. I went there after my second year of uni, to try and get to the root of what was causing anxiety in my life. I’ve come across many explanations over the years, from solely medical models to hyper-spiritualised ones - the most helpful thing I’ve read is a CMF article called “Psychiatry and Christianity - Poles apart? (Part 1)” that encompasses all the factors, by a Christian psychiatrist called Nick Land. Still, I don’t think I would rely on God half as much without this experience! He can use anything for good.

My counsellor is a lovely lady called Frances. One of the things she said to me was that when she struggled to receive and accept that “God loves me”, she would turn the phrase around and say, “I am loved by God”. Maybe because we’ve heard the first phrase so many times. Maybe because by saying the second one, we are accepting that love as a reality. It still feels proud to say that, but maybe it’s pride that is keeping me from receiving a love I can’t earn.