Mad mental Morag

My oldest and dearest friend. She is crazy mental and I love her with a passion.

Morag is one of the steadiest, strongest people I know. She is my rock and I know that we will be friends 'til the end.

I hope we end up in the same nursing home together when we're 90, where we can dye our hair purple, hoover the lawn, torment all the randy old men with our old lady hussy ways before we flee on our customised zimmers and sit in our urine-soaked chairs, trumping in unison and reminiscing about comedy wigs and our teaching days of old.

We will eat only ham sandwiches, Knobbly Bobbly ice lollies, egg in a cup (Morag's only dish in her culinary repertoire), and Maltesers. We will likely meet our maker during a game of Chubby Bunny, using aforementioned Maltesers. But what a way to go...

It's just a bonus that she's such a stunner. And she can do the dance.