Please Don't Tell, NYC

Not gonna spoil this cause the location is secret and worth it. Subtle as fuck and if you and me are ever in NYC, I'll take you there.

Today was kinda planned and shite. I planned to go up top, Central Park North and that's what I did. I had a lovely walk through the park, everyone was wearing masses of lycra and/or Arsen Wengre bubble suits. Both being ridiculous due to the sun and serious fashion issues.

I got to south and kinda fell for the old salesman trick which I'm sure my mum, Jeni nor my dad woulda fallen for but I did cause it was 12pm and I'd been walking since 9am and I'd had nowt to eat since 2pm the previous day and was also, I realised, slightly hungover, since I subtly tanned a bottle red wine right before bed last night. I wanted a good deal on a lens. I said the first one was not quite what I was after. The subsequent two were firstly utter shite then uber too good so I said I was away to get some breakfast to thing about it. The Carny cunt said "Oh, I'll give you $100 off that first lens then". So I kinda felt trapped and idiotic and like I was the prick I am and weird and angry and stoopid. So, I showed the prick who's boss and paid for a wide angle extension that distorts to fuck as soon as you try to use it in any meaningful sense.

Looked great on 6th Avenue though...

So, as I'd been walking about Manhattan & Brooklyn for days, I decided to have a chilled one this afternoon / evening and go on a wee cocktail trail that I invented. All very close-ish in the East Village s I didn't have to travel / walk / taxi it / too far.

Before I set off though I got a call from Jeni, well, it seemed like I did but I wasn't sure and I couldn't be sure if it wash;t a) and emergency or b) one of the kids just trying to say hello. So I expensively called back. David answered and told me he was missing me a lot. Part of me hopes he'll never know how much that means to me and part of me knows he will, some day.

So, cocktail trail... I started off at 4:30pm and the first place was all not open. Pricks. Open at 5. Great. So I went to an 'Irish' bar and had a G&T, a Blue Moon and a Stella. Then back to cocktail place number 1. Turns out they're not cocktail place number 1, but the folk tha own cocktail place number 1. So, I had cocktail -1 in there.

Then had cocktail 1 - Banana Justino

Then I had two espressos

cocktail place number two was closed (they saw me coming)

Cocktail three (Casualty) as planned in Amor Y Amargo

Cocktail four (MI5), not as planned but still in Gin Palace.

Cocktail five Shark as planned in PDT

Cocktail six Cape Town Cup as planned in The Beagle

Cocktail seven One Flight Up as planned at Pouring Ribbons

Did not make destinations' 8, 9 or 10 due to I reckon a lack of food and starting off in minus numbers on the crawl.

Woulda tried harder if I was trying to impress anyone other than myself which amounts to the square route of fuck all and therefore essentially pointless from any perspective.

I had a telephone (how quaint) conversation with someone tonight where they made a pact that they would not ever be a cunt again.

Night, burpy, drunken, night, puke, boak. Mmmmmm. Cuddles.