Sunday

After I got back yesterday from my walk I dissociated. I have no memory of last night, of uploading yesterdays blip and I have no idea what the text means. 

I woke feeling really low and seeing the empty days ahead too much. I reluctantly declined the offer of meeting S, K and the boys in the park as that would be 3 people. I was gutted but rules are rules. 

I forced myself to go a walk. I walked through the park and was horrified at how busy the play park was . Groups of adults standing talking, queue at the coffee van, cyclists, people playing football. I headed down the walkway and that was even worse. The amount of times I had to walk slowly, stop walking to let people past. It was really stressful and I was getting angrier and angrier, then I saw this graffiti. Definitely me! And it's not even in focus . Gggrr. 

Home to do nothing. This is getting so much harder.