The snow we thought was coming Sunday night came last night so I went down to the yard early to put out hay and smash the ice on the water troughs.

Currently in the hospital waiting for my blood test results to come back so I can get the next lot of chemo tablets. Unfortunately was advised on arrival that the radiotherapy I was supposed to be starting tomorrow is now pushed back to Monday. Apparently my oncologist wasn't happy with the planned area (too large and affects places that don't need nuking) so they need to replan it which has caused a delay. I understand because it needs to be right but it feels like a blow because I'm so ready to just get on with it all now.

In addition I'm trying to organise starting work again, just doing a few hours a day. I just had to empty my bank account to the tax man so when I'm well enough to work I really need to be working. But it doesn't help plan anything when appointments move or take longer than expected.

I want to be upfront with my customers about what's possible but I can only base this on how I reacted to the last lot of chemo and I obviously can't guarantee I'll react the same way next time. I hate that I can't provide the same level of service but I'm not ready to lose my business as well for this horrible indiscriminate disease. It's all just not fair.

I don't like being in hospital. It's full of ill people and I don't feel ill :0(