A "Motherism."

I've, probably, mentioned the fact before - BUT - we didn't have a "Granny", we had a "Mother".  The reason didn't dawn until relatively recently, in terms of a lifetime.  Mam's parents were, sans doubt, Victorian - SO - Mam probably grew up calling her Mam "Mother".  She would continue to address her as such, and so we caught the same terminology by Osmosis.  She was, also, a dyed-in-the-wool Cumbrian; to the  degree that English was her second language.
Two of her utterances when we crossed the Daft-barrier:-
1. "He hezn't t'brains on a Cuvvin." (NOT a coven, a CUVVIN = Whelk)
2. "Thoo hezn't got t'Brains God gev Geese."
 BOTH of which are, equally, applicable today.
My Hose was leaking a bit too much at the coupling; so I bought a tap-connector and a Hose end connector.  It transpired that the Tap connector was the wrong size for the tap - BUT - the hose coupling was correct for what was already there.  I consequently kept one and returned the other.
Enter the cuvvin. 
After fitting it, there was still a leak, but less, and from the region suggesting the connector wasn't tight enough.
RIGHT - get a couple of pairs of pliers.  Easier said than done.
I eventually located the tools and then couldn't find the ruddy coupling.
SILLY OLD B****R had left it connected and never did remember; until I was outside on a different errand and spotted it - still in situ.  The leak is lessened and will probably be non-existant when not under mains pressure - ERGO - turn off after use until other 1/2 of coupling located.

I DO wish this damn machine would type what I want and NOT what IT thinks I want; necessitating 2-3 proof reads.