A Chubby Monologue

I wont ever be the same size as I was when I was nineteen.

I won’t ever be the same size as I was when I was nineteen.

This past year, like most folk, have gained a little weight. You all know I’m forever on a diet and sometimes getting there and sometimes not. I would actually formally like to blame going to America last year and gaining 17lbs. But then I think if you come back off a 3 week holiday the same dress size, quite frankly you haven’t had a good enough time.

I started my slimming journey when I was 19 and I had just moved out of my home home and was in a flat. I weighed 13 stone 8.5lbs, which honestly at the time yeah I did look a little chubby! Looking back at photos at that time I was a little chunky for, what felt like, my age. Two years ago I got to my lowest weight which was about 12ish stone and I was definitely happy at the time. But then 2019 was awful and well the entire pandemic has funded my rose wine addiction.

I now weigh just shy of 15 stone. At first I was like holy cow how have I done this?! I must must must get back to my skinny size of 12 stone. But why?! And for who? When I was that size I still thought I was chubby! A classic case of you look pack at photos and you’re like- how did I ever think I was fat?!

My weight has been a constant thought which is sad really. So over these past few months I’ve taught myself that I am in fact, 25 years old and no my teenager clothes won’t fit me anymore. Shock.

I’m sick of it. I’m sick of beating myself up for having a very normal body. For having rolls when I sit down or having a belly 24/7 or even my stretch marks which take up far too much of my skin. I’m done. I’m done being against my self and the way I look.

If I’ve learnt anything in the past weeks is that it’s okay to be a little bigger, to be happy and know that I am healthy and my body well, is a fortress of crisps and wine.

I have no desire to be obese or make myself diabetic, I’ve just had enough negativity.

I read something the other day that say ‘we aren’t meant to fit clothes. They are meant to fit us’ which at first I was like sure sure. But now I think about it, I like yeah? Why do I let some £3 from primark define how I live my life? Well I’m not anymore.

Here’s to a chubby filled future of happiness.


Happy Blipping.