In praise of clouds

You can't beat a big sky and a handful of fluffy clouds surrounded by whipped-up whooshy clouds.

(not to be confused with white smoke* ;o) )

I'm tempted to not write any more words on this blip entry for today because I'm still in a rut and it's dreary, but I find looking back useful. All my well-intentioned efforts to gee myself up are leading to muck-ups, mess and disorganisation. I've started taking a high dose of omega 3 (a vegetarian source in case Hugh Fluffy-Twittystall is reading this). I've felt really unsettled since the weekend and getting into anything seems like an enormous effort.

I know exactly what to do. I could sit here now and write myself the perfectly prescriptive list of activities, thoughts, foods and attitudes to fix myself, but just slowing down my breath is difficult at the moment. It's bloody annoying and seems so silly. It's as if I'm not allowing myself to slow down, to read at night, to sleep, to exercise, even to eat at the right times of day. I feel like I'm punishing myself for something but I don't know what it is.

I think I'll re-start the 5 good things thing I did for a while last year:

1. Tess said she loved me as we walked home from school
2. 2 tomato seeds and 4 artichokes have germinated today
3. The sun shone and it's not so cold
4. I managed to cut a blind to size to fit Joel's window
5. The things I ordered for Joel's birthday have arrived


(*I'll never remember what I meant by that when I look back in year)