Chicatastrophe

Mrs Raheny took a very decisive step into the furthering of the kids' education on Saturday, more specifically on the topic of the evil of alcohol: she went to her department's end of year barbecue.

And she obviously put the mental in departmental.

The bits and pieces that we obtained from her during the postmortem was that the attendees were mostly from an international background, with a naturally restrained approach to the consumption of alcohol. In other words participants not well versed in the ancestral art of the "Craic".

Consequently her boss and her husband plied her with copious amounts of wine. The result was a hysterically laughing mess at 10.30pm (the bbq had started at 3pm). The kids were able to witness the following:
- A severely distorted perception of time. "I'm walking back, I'll just be 20 minutes. (It took 1 hour, with regularl phone updates, and hysterical laughter at the notion that we would drive and pick her up. "The bike wouldn't fit in the boot" - more hysterical laughter, ringing of bell.
- A severely distorted perception of distances: zigzagging between point A and B increases the distance between the two (judging by the state she was in when she made it home, we estimate that the increase was by a factor of 3) At least she was wise enough to not attempt to cycle the bike, she walked it back home, although we suspect that it is mostly the bike that walked her back home.
- An inability to speak her native language, forcing her to opt for French instead (which was quite good, considering the circumstances)
- Difficulty with pronunciation, especially alliterations in B (well observed, Mimi)
- Diminished eye/hand coordination, as demonstrated with the repeated dropping of her scarf and phone
- A strong tendency to repeat oneself "where is my bag, I forgot my bag" "where is my scarf, I forgot my scarf" "where is my phone, I forgot my phone" - in a loop.
- A pronounced inability to write an intelligible WhatsApp message, as demonstrated in this shot taken the following morning, when Mimi read her mother's attempt at thanking her hosts in the group WhatsApp at 23.12


More importantly, the kids were able to witness first hand the mother of all hangovers for the whole of Sunday, with loads of soft moaning, not so soft moaning, dry retching and vehement declaration that no alcohol shall ever pass her lips again.