Why did I come in here?

By Bootneck

Hello, have we met before? I'm Rob......

This is an explanation of what has been occurring to me for years now. It’s not my intention to seek sympathy, rather a way of informing you wonderful people about what is going to happen and has already happened. 10+ years ago I was diagnosed with Myalgic Encephalomyelitis, a nasty little thing in it’s own right. 5 years ago a very lovely lady advised me that I had the symptoms of Dementia, the type was possibly Lewy bodies. If it had been I would be toast by now. 
I stopped blipping, for the second time a few years ago, as my skills and brain could not handle what I wanted to do. Joining again in January ’21 I have thoroughly enjoyed myself, but noticed that all is not well. Robert can be a tad acerbic and quick off the keyboard. My sense of humour appears to have remained fairly intact, based on the Goons, Gary Larson the wonderful cartoonist and of course the inimitable Peter Sellars. Did you see what I did there? I used ‘inimitable’ the right side of my temporal lobes retains poetry, words, rhythm and a couple of other nice things. The left lobe is gradually being reduced to mush, along with the frontal lobe it governs cognisance, prevents rash decisions and speech, plus behaviour, ie it tells you “No, don’t do that it’s abnormal and will upset people.” 
18 months ago I went in for a little surgery and my blood pressure is in stroke range, my heart is pounding and missing beats. Medication has not controlled the pressure, it has however created stinging 24/365 headaches. This quiet well mannered chap has become erratic, rushes into places I should not go in my endeavour to achieve the unachievable. Night time is horrible; hallucinations, terrible terrifying nightmares that leave me fighting for my life and Elaine scared as I lash out to fight off invisible demons; for the first time I can be labelled as “Dangerous in Bed!” 
The beard has appeared after a long absence as my motor skills are degraded, and I quite like my puss the way it is, I don’t need more scars. 
It appears, after a deal of research that what I have is probably Vascular Dementia. The tubes supplying blood to the body and brain are clogged, hence sudden disabling pain, much like a stroke. Doctors opinions vary, life span may be 3-20+ years with reducing functions.
I am virtually housebound, I shuffle rather than walk, what else……oh loads of stuff. Go into the bathroom three times, do something different each time but never remembering to take the tablet I went in for. It’s scary to wake up at O’dark hundred and not know where you are. Rather like being in a strange hotel room. 
One does not give in, otherwise all the work those nice instructors did on me at the Commando Training Centre would be wasted, “Never Give In.” Even I have to call “Time” occasionally but go back another day and try again. 
I enjoy Blip, I love the camaraderie, skillsets, knowledge and just being able to see folk enjoying their lives. I’m not depressed or saddened, my life has been full of fun and exciting times. Now you may understand if I miss a day or so, or publish ancient images, they stir my memory. You can’t get rid of me that easily. You may try but prepare to fail!!!!!
Oh, that mist around the portrait is what I have to work through most days, it’s getting denser, must be Global Thurnberg. 
Group hug. 

Please have a look at this lady's work. Dr Teepa Snow is an excellent educator and guide. 

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