The Elf on the Shelf

As mentioned in yesterday's blip, part of our Christmas treats to ourselves this year is to watch films ("fillum" to those in Ireland; "movies" to any North Americans). We ventured forth on this adventure, so I thought, with the idea of a nice sentimental Christmas theme, something that would kindle the embers of nostalgia and remind the adults of what Christmas should be about, and give the child something to look back on fondly in later life.

I've been had. 

Displaying a cunning hitherto unimagined, Mrs. Ottawacker has played a blinder. Instead of giving me a list of films to purchase from Amazon - classics like A Christmas Carol, It's A Wonderful Life, or even Mary Poppins, Mrs. Ottawacker has filled the playlist with the first two Home Alone movies, and tonight's offering: Elf.

Elf. I frigging ask you. 

Watching anything Will Ferrell is in rankles. Watching this felt like I had been kidnapped from my home, dragged to a secret underground lair, slapped with a wet fish, and then doused in skunk juice. Elf, and I say this having seen a fair few films in my time, is quite possibly the worst film I have ever seen in my life. Ever.

And of course Mrs. Ottawacker and Ottawacker Jr. loved it. 

I heard a sound at one stage and looked over, somewhat concerned in case Mrs. Ottawacker had taken up knitting and accidentally stabbed herself in the stomach: no, she was simply catching her breath, tears streaming down her face. eyes wrinkled up, mouth open in delight... at Will Ferrell burping. Ottawacker Jr. was in exactly the same position. This was repeated at almost every scene... yet when I burp in real life, does Mrs. Ottawacker roll on the floor in laughter? When I pass wind, am I regaled with tears of mirth? When I burst into her Zoom work meeting wrapped in a towel, does she cancel the whole meeting and help me look for a clean pair of boxers?

I think we know the answers to these questions. 

In other news, next-door isn't Covid; we found a plumber to come and fix the tap; we had raclette for dinner; it is apparently National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation tomorrow.