Ah! The glorious sights of an Ottawa retail mall

The highlight of the morning tide was a pre-ordained trip to Metro ($15 off your first three orders)to pick up the goods Mrs. Ottawacker felt we could not survive Christmas without. These items included salted butter, coconut oil, Udi's gluten-free bread and, for some reason, haemmorrhoid cream. As none of us have haemmorrhoids, I was initially concerned I had picked up the wrong order.  I have previous.

If I laid out in a line the long list  of possible chances of getting a cream to rub on piles through a mistake, what would they be? (To save googling, it was Preparation H, not Anusol - although I think Anusol might have been easier to confuse.) Preparation H: propane? prophylactics? prednizone? preserved ginger? 

No. The missing item was... are you ready... bananas. Yes, our order filler mistook Preparation H haemmorroid cream for bananas. Now before you jump to conclusions, I am quite partial to a banana, but not that way. So there is no possibility of it being a spurned lover from Grindr. 

Possible answers though, have left me baffled. Other than an itchy bottom from time to time, my rectal wrongdoings have been few and far between - other than the Great Colon Adventure of January 2020. Answers on postcards please.

The rest of the days was spent in eager anticipation of Mrs. Ottawacker's Big Presentation. She had been asked to talk to a group of potential donors about the importance of leaving bequests to the Philianthropy Factory at which she works. She hates public speaking, despite being excellent at it, and so this little milestone had been bubbling away like a, erm, bubbling sword of Damocles over our heads for the past month. It also coincided with the start of her vacation, so was being looked at with joy by all. 

Needless to say, she aced it. And to celebrate we watched a Father Ted, ate too much crap and generally started off the Festive Season with a thud rather than a bang (no bananas, you see).

The time between work and vacation has always been a weird one for me. Hopefully tomorrow will start us all off on the right foot once again.