Mustard

After watching my friend's lad play Sunday league football in the park in the pissing rain it was all out for lunch with my mum who's up for the weekend. And then a bit of fresh air on the Water Of Leith before heading home where the plan was to play "a family game".

Now, ostensibly Cluedo is a game involving murder, but our game was more like sheer bloody torture, in main due to my mum seemingly unable to grasp any of the rules whatsoever.

"You see that card we just got shown mum?"
"What card?"
"The card with the *whisper* revolver on it"
"Yes"
"You've not crossed it off, cross it off"
"Which one?"
"The *whisper* revolver, cross it off, it means it's not in the envelope"
"What envelope? How do you know?"
"BECAUSE YOUR GRAND-DAUGHTER JUST SHOWED IT TO US!!! SHE'S GOT IT!!!!"

(I made that last one up actually, I wasn't really shouting, but you get the picture...)

Anyways, let's have a tune...

"Couldn't cut the (Colonel) mu-mu-mu-mustard"