20 Years

What is it about years with a zero at the end. Do they seem more poignant? I feel yes, or maybe it’s my mood today. Today marks 20 years since Dad had a sudden heart attack, around 7am in the morning and passed away at PRI around 9:30. It was a Monday. We all sat in the room off the A and E waiting on the consultant to come in. We were hopeful cos that’s the way of things you can’t imagine at that point the alternative. Then The door opened and the nurse walked in first with a box of tissues followed by the consultant bearing the bad news. I was the only one that wanted to go and see Dad on the table . I wanted to say goodbye, kiss his cheek and take a clipping of his hair . It was hard leaving him there.

We all went back to the house at Blackford and the first thing I saw was his shoes at the side of the armchair. That set me off. He took them off the evening before and never wore them again.

Today we went out for lunch with Mum, Laura and Cameron and then later , early evening, S and I went to Blackford to the graveyard to put a bunch of flowers I arranged from the garden on his gravestone. what a beautiful night it was.

Miss you Dear Dad.


There is something quite lovely about this old photo. Mum is pregnant with me. They are both at the back door of the house with their tartan baffies on. The string of beads is lying on the doorstep and I love the tender way that Dad is looking at Mum. You forget they were young and vibrant .