Bubble bathos

"Organic fireworks illuminate Greenwich in this sustainable celebration and spectacular UK Premiere. Artist Daan Roosegaarde became inspired by the magical light of fireflies, and the desire to transform traditional methods of celebration such as fireworks, balloons, drones and confetti. The result is SPARK, a poetic performance that combines innovative technology with awe-inspiring design. Thousands of biodegradable light sparks organically move with the ever-changing wind, inspiring you to marvel, wonder and reflect. Bring your own blanket and pillow and be amazed under the SPARKS."

Sounds quite interesting, no? I've enjoyed the Greenwich and Docklands International Festival before and this description persuaded three of us to travel over 60 miles then four of us to walk two miles to Greenwich this evening.

We started by going to a "dazzling digital artwork, originally created as a celebration of the deeply rooted Ukrainian tradition of publicly sited mosaics ... a spectacular audio-visual event for GDIF, with support from the Ukrainian Institute." We sat on the grass and... nothing. It just didn't happen. So, four shrugs and off we went to be amazed under the SPARKS. We asked an information person whether the gate to the quick route there was open, were told it was, and reached a tall set of impassable railings. We retraced our steps, telling other people that they'd also been misdirected, and made our own way to... ah, to a long queue. Back and back and back to its end. Well, OK - we were in good company. Excitement mounted as we finally got to the front of the queue and then... what? Bubbles being blown into the path of three bright lights pointing towards the sky. That was it. We sat on the grass to see what would happen next and gradually, like everyone else, realised that nothing was, got up and left.

At the gate another information person offered us a piece of paper. 'Is that an evaluation form?' I asked? 'Yes,' she said, handing it to me. 'So what do you think of this?' I asked. Long pause then a deep laugh and, 'Perhaps I'd better take that form back.'

By this stage adversity was generating hysteria and the four of us retreated to a much more predictable and reliable pub.

My picture is much, much prettier than the real thing.