Not for those of a sensitive nature:

The tv was on, the sound turned down, subtitles on because eldest boy likes to read the subtitles when he watches telly. Hubby and I were chatting, not paying much attention to what was on.

Turned out it was '999: What's your Emergency?'. How did we find this out? Because eldest suddenly exclaimed "Vibrator stuck up his anus!!!???" Cue sharp intakes of breath and a frantic lunge for the tv control.

"What's a vibrator?" said eldest.

"Erm, erm...it's sort of a, kind of a...erm, plastic willy", I said.

"Oh", said eldest and then said nothing more. Just looked a bit puzzled as though he was thinking 'Well that's a bloody silly thing to do'.

No more '999: What's your emergency' in this house!