Let it wash over me.....

"Don't let it bother you" - Easier said than done.
"Take no notice" - Difficult not to.
"You're better than that" - I know I am, but it doesn't make it OK.

This is the start of a new painting. Its the initial blocking out of two canvases intended to form one piece of work. Someone at work has asked me to do a painting for her. Not sure if this will be it, but after chatting with her about colours and ideas, she had suggested that should would like some sort of abstract, maybe with waves. I sketched an idea out in bed last night (yeah - I realise how sad that sounds!) and after a frighteningly shitty afternoon I came home and decided that I needed either to open a bottle of wine, or to paint. Off to purchase a couple of canvases and three hours later, I've at least made a start. (And I haven't had a drink yet...although it is 11.10pm and Corin is just pouring me a whiskey)

When my friend said waves, I am not sure she meant this kind of wave...maybe she just meant wavy lines. I dunno. Anyway, I'm going to be working on this for a few weeks I suspect...and probably by the time I am finished I won't want to hand it over to anyone.

(Sizes - 2 canvases, each 1 metre wide by 50 cm tall, ofset by 35 cm, so 1.35 mtrs wide and a metre tall as a combined piece)

I won't go into it, but if somebody had beaten me with a large stick this afternoon it would have been less unpleasant than a situation that I had to 'put up with' at 3.40pm today. Its difficult sometimes to remember why I love my job. I have suggested to the person in question that they make an appointment to see my boss to make a complaint about me, because I am clearly such a bad teacher. It should say in teachers contracts "must have the hide of a rhino and be prepared, on occasion, to put up with unreasonable and unjustified behaviour from children and adults". There is no excuse for rude, insolent and beligerent behaviour...none at all. However, my professionalism remained intact, and was fortunately witnessed by three colleagues who heard the entire exchange and who asked how I managed to keep my self control (with difficulty the voice in my head cried). A few tears of frustration later (am I allowed to say what I think??? Nope) and I was OK.

This afternoon I questioned, for the second time this half term, whether I really am cut out for this anymore. If it wasn't for fantastic colleagues and friends who tell me to stop doubting myself and who remind me of all of the really wonderful kids we have, who DO appreciate the effort that we put in, I think I would be contemplating an alternative career...just not sure what!!!

Answers on a postcard too.....