Until Next Time

I leave for Edinburgh tomorrow, with my job starting tomorrow. Knowing this, I was emotional leaving my family behind. Since my MSc, I have barely seen my mother and sister. Each time I go out with them I get tearful as I feel the seperation when I am in Edinburgh.

My mid-afternoon where spent at a South Indian place in Defence Colony, Sagar Ratna my grandpa used to bring us all for our birthdays. Sadly, since his passing we have not been here that many times. My sister wanted to have dosa’s from here. We usually accompany it with Rasam and Papad (I still cannot understand why Brits call papad as papadoms). The meal ended with a delicious filter coffee.

I came back home and courageously checked my emails. I got upset over one of the emails from a lecturer whom I look upto with all my heart. I hope he reconsiders my request. Another kind lecturer to whom I was supposed to me, replied kindly he is going away and would be meeting me later.

My evening was spent being upset and emotional about the disappointing email that I had got. Keeping my fingers crossed for whatever is to come next. After one year of convincing my sister has agreed to support me to my decision of PhD studies. I know how much she has to put to due to my absence from our home in Delhi - all because of my abusive and violent father. This morning he kept his usual spirit of yelling at my mother for no reason - one would be astonished to note that she did not say a word to him.

I have packed my bags. I am not taking gifts for anyone this time. Last time, I had given some people some gifts but felt unappreciated and didn’t want that feeling to repeat itself.

All I have is some hope left. I do not how long these hurdles would continue to exist - my father and my past - but I keep my fingers crossed for the future as I leave my sister and mother at his hands. I hope one day I achieve so much that I am able to take them away from this setting.