Duck Deluxe . . .

Long-suffering Mother Duck: "I'm telling you for the 100th time, that Junior Elvis wig does not suit you, Fred. And you're not going out until you take it off . . ."

Fred Duck: "But, Mom, the man in the shop said that it'll make me stand out in the pond, and all the young swans will love me."

Mother Duck: "Good God, do you really think, in your wildest dreams, that any self-respecting swan would be seen on the lake with a duck wearing a rug on his head . . . The yellow beak is bad enough, but . . ."

Fred Duck: "But, Mom. This is the latest fashion. The girls will go wild . . ."

Mother Duck: "You never listen to your dear old Mom. Do as you like, lad; the shame will be on your head, not mine . . . "

Fred waddles away, humming his favourite song: Ride A White Swan by Marc Bolan. His mother hides a smile as she mutters, almost unheard, "Those young ones . . ."