Mom

My mom had a younger brother but he passed away before I was born so I never got to see him. We never really talked about why or how he passed away until I was 17.

She caught me smoking and she was worried. She took me to therapy just to know if I was okay and that got me really mad and that resulted in a fallout between us. I stopped responding to her for a whole week then she sat me down to talk about why she did it. My mom was worried that I had some kind of mental issue and is struggling with substance abuse as her younger brother showed early signs of depression that were ignored by my grandmother.
At that moment I knew she was scared of losing me
That she was afraid that I might take my own life

28.08.2022
I died
I hung from the door frame of my bedroom
I watched as the sunset go down at 4 PM
I heard the people down the streets just walking around spending the day together
I felt the slight breeze coming from the balcony filled with roses my mother brought home the day before
I waited
And waited
But then the thought of my mother kicked in
And I fought with all my strength to pull myself from the rope
It barely left a mark
But that's the one thing I never told her
That I'll always stay for her
I can always give myself another day to live
Just for you, mom
I lived