God's Apprentice . . .

Pastor: "Today, Thomas, I'd like you to put an inspirational message on the notice board. Something cheery for a bright and beautiful Sunday morning."
Thomas: 'Right, Padre. I know just the thing. I'll get on to it right now."
20 Minutes later . . .
Thomas: "What do you think of this, boss?"
Pastor: "Good God, man. When the parishioners read this, they'll be slashing their wrists in the car park!"
Thomas: "Would it help if I add a smiley face . . .
Pastor: "You're fired!"