Bittersweet...

And so the last day of our holiday is upon us.  

It's been a very fast two weeks but we have loved every minute, seen and done lots (not everything we planned to but that's a good excuse to come back :-) stayed in the most amazing little converted Calf Shed and the weather gods have been very, very kind.  Two weeks of sunshine and warm temps.  Perfect.

We've even managed to catch up with a number of friends while here.  Withers and Po, D's ex work colleague Jan,  school friend (and my distant cousin) Drew and his wife Audrey, and today was the turn of Mae.

I met Mae when I was 18 and started my first job.  She was 11 years older than me, had her own flat in Glasgow, looked a million dollars and was the smartest, funniest, sassiest woman I had ever met.  My colleague Dawn (same age as me) and I were completely mesmerised by her.  And wanted to be her.  OMG what fun we had together.  Mae knew everyone!  She'd take Dawn and I to the trendiest nightclubs in Glasgow, get us into VIP areas, generally lead us astray but keep us safe.  And of course in work we had a scream.  Oh the stories I could tell! :-))

Of course time moves on the three of us moved jobs and Mae met her future husband, an Englishman, got married and settled down south of the border.  We kept in touch of course, in those pre-internet days by letter.  I always loved hearing from her, the city girl now living life in the Wiltshire countryside, a wife and of course in time, a mum.  Her eldest son G was born on our first wedding anniversary, followed two years later by a daughter A and then two years later, her youngest son, C.  

Sadly her marriage ended but Mae, one of life's survivors carried on, bringing up her three children and doing her absolute best by them.  

Once the internet was invented keeping in touch became much easier and faster and on the few and far between occasions we did manage to meet up, we just took up where we left off.  A sign of true friendship.

When I last saw Mae in 2016 she was in a good place.  Loved her work supporting disabled adults, her kids were almost all grown and doing well and she was enjoying having time to think about herself.  Then in 2019 it all came crashing down.  Her eldest son G took his own life.  Mae found him.  He was only 28.

I don't have to spell out how horrendous the intervening years have been for her.  How on earth do you cope with such a loss?  Mae's first thoughts were for her remaining children, how were they coping, how could she help them, selfless as ever.  But of course it has taken its toll.  

Although we are in touch all the time, I have been so desperate to hug her and today I got the chance.  Oh how bittersweet that was!  Mae is always keen to talk about G and gets so frustrated when people avoid mentioning him or get uncomfortable if she mentions him.  She knows she doesn't have to worry about that with us.  

G from a very young age was a keen BMXer and was well known for his amazing skills on his bike.  He was part of a BMX team and they travelled all over the world.  Mae would send me videos of him doing stunts on his bike and my heart would be in my mouth watching them!  He was fearless!  He also mentored younger riders showing infinite patience, always encouraging them to try and try again when they took a tumble.  He was a real hero the younger generation.

G also campaigned and worked tirelessly on persuading the local council to build a decent skate park in his town.  When they agreed he was involved in the planning and design and he was so proud and delighted when it was finally completed.  When the council heard he had died they contacted the family saying the wanted to re-name the skatepark after him.  The whole family were so touched, especially when they saw the sign erected by the town council bearing his name and a touching explanation below.

G's friends also raised funds for a beautiful black marble memorial bench to be installed at the skate park and I know Mae got a lot of comfort from visiting the park and sitting on the bench for a little while.  G's friends and family always went along on his birthday and raised a glass of Heineken (his favoured tipple) to his memory.

Earlier this year Mae got word that the bench had been vandalised and smashed.  As you can imagine it devastated her, although thankfully she is sensible enough to realise it was sheer mindless vandalism and not personal, but she hasn't been back to the skatepark since.

She knew I was keen to go and see the park and I said if she gave us directions we would drop her off after our lunch and then go to the park but she insisted she wanted to come with us.  So, after a very delicious lunch and almost five hours of blethering, we headed to the park.  

She wasn't sure my wheels would be able access the rough ground to get right into the park and she was right, but I could see part of it and the sign bearing G's name from the car.  I wanted some photos so she and D went into the park where around 6 young lads were happily making good use of it.  

When the lads saw Mae and D, they were obviously curious as to why these two oldies were there and one of them asked if they were lost or looking for something.  Mae explained that she was the mum of the lad who'd fought to get the skate park built and who it was named after.  Then the most remarkable thing happened.  This lad called out to all the others "Hey guys, c'mere!  This is G's mum and dad!!  (D had to quickly explain he was just a friend :-) G who built the park!" and every one of them came running over to chat and say how amazing the place is and how thankful they are to have a place to go with their bikes and scooters.  How wonderful is that?!  Mae and D were utterly gobsmacked!  

They were so polite and enthusiastic and keen tell of their successes and tumbles on their bikes and Mae got to share a little of G's experiences and they were so interested to hear what she had to say.  

These lads are far too young to have known G but they were talking about him as if they had.  They’d even seen the videos of G on his bike. After the incident with the bench I think it has restored Mae's faith a little.  I am so glad she was brave enough to come with us and I am so glad we went.  

As Mae and D came back to the car all the lads were shouting after them "so nice to meet you" and "have a good day."  I held it together at the time for Mae's sake but as I type this I am sobbing my heart out. Those young lads will maybe never know what good they did today.

Saying goodbye to Mae was hard but we have loved this place and will definitely return so I know it won't be too long till we see her again.  

And now it's packing time.  Funny how packing to go home takes much less time than packing to go on holiday!   We plan to have breakfast at the Farmshop cafe across the road tomorrow morning and be on our way by 10am at the very latest.  Time will tell :-))

PS If you got to the end of this epistle give yourself a massive pat on the back and a virtual hug from me!  :-) x