That Time of Year - Again

Flying Lessons

Flap flap jump, flap flap jump, or was it jump flap flap, jump flap flap, I forget the instructions. Ah, it might have been run flap flap jump, run flap flap jump, or was it flap flap run jump, flap flap run jump. But then it might have been run jump flap flap, run jump flap flap, this learning to fly is bloody complicated. Ok, let’s try again run run jump jump flap flap, oh shit, oh shit, gonna miss the roof, and it’s a long way down. Only one thing for it, flap flap flap flap furiously hope to soften the landing, and hope I don’t break a wing, a leg, or my neck.

Shit that ground was hard. Wings, flap flap, check. Legs, jump jump check, Neck, well, I’m alive and feeling things, so I guess check. No one told me to be careful because this learning to fly lark was hazardous. Now how do I get back up there? By mastering this flying business I suppose. At least I’m now on the ground, no chance of falling off of a roof again. Oh shit, oh shit a car, run run run run, bugger that was close there was I, nearly a flat seagull. Why is this stuff not instinctive, why do we have to learn it? Complicated doesn’t come close, all this stuff is bloody nigh impossible.

Run run run run jump flap flap flap flap, whee, made fifty feet that time. Keep it up son you’ll crack it soon. Now where’s mother with breakfast? Oh, no, she’ll expect me to be on the roof. I’m gonna die of starvation, I haven’t cracked flying yet, let alone feeding myself. MUM, MUM, I’M DOWN HERE!